Marathon Doc Visits…Why Do I Do That to Myself?!


(Meme generated by someone else, somewhere else, sometime else using Kitty and Red from “That 70’s Show.” There. Credit given–as good as it’ll get. Now, move along…)

Three Doctors, One Day (not to be confused with the infamous, disgusting Two Girls, One Cup video.  Don’t know about it?! Consider yourself lucky and for Pete’s sake DO NOT Google it! If you do, you have only yourself to blame…I warned you!)


Appointment 1. Therapist appointment first thing. Good talk with a nice Christian lady whom typically forgets I’m agnostic.  But I’m unconcerned and it totally doesn’t matter either way…the thought of which is ironically the cornerstone of agnosticism.  But, she has good ideas, and doesn’t flinch too badly when I accidentally drop the F word. A lot. Hey–no judgey–YOU! Feelings are hard and stuff… Besides, I know about your own potty mouth! Keep it up, and I’m telling your Mother!  Anyway, the therapist is super sweet, and reminds me quite a bit of my Step-Grandmother–well known in social circles in the south (self-reported) as one of the Van Pelts (the Louisiana Van Pelts, not those trashy Texas Van Pelts <my apologies to the Texas Van Pelts–she was a bit wacky and I don’t know you! I’m sure you are perfectly lovely!> ).  Anyway, I still feel kinda bad for convincing Grandma that George Michael’s Faith Album (errr…cassette?!) was Christian music so that she would buy it for me.  Kinda bad…  I can still hear her singing off key to this day (she overheard the chorus of the title song) : “You gotta have faith, faith, faith…!” <giggle-snorts>  Okay…that shit’s still funny!  If there is a Hell, I definitely greased the skids for myself with that one.  

Appointment 2. Wellness check. Been sick. Pleurisy.  Didn’t go well. No work for me next two days. *grumbles* I don’t wanna talk about it. <pouts> I have lots of sedentary projects and tasks to complete.  Lots. And the furry toddler to entertain. He has sooooo much energy! He actually rebounded off of me all evening–being a fuzzy jerk because no one was paying attention to the dog! It’s not wise to piss on the goodwill of the lady who mixes cottage cheese into your food, Buddy…not wise at all! Here’s a picture of the hirsute tyrant:

Don’t let his adorable mug fool you. That piggy he’s holding now sleeps with the fishes!

After that appointment, got to spend quality time with Sister Mistress (Mistress Sister?!  Sounds like a Dom name…I’ll have to ask her for the safe word), eat lunch, and be on hold with a bureaucratic agency for an hour before giving up to try again tomorrow.  (Their music wasn’t even something you could dance to.  Yucky ear worm nonsense. Boooo!) 

Appointment 3: acupuncture.  I LOVE my accupuncturist/naturopath! She was my default therapist before I had one. She is a crafter/creator like myself (she knits exquisite things, I make jewelry). AND she’s done more for my health than any other doctor (except for a brief period of back to back cancellations due to her family needs–but hey, we are all human–and she was needed). She’s been willing to coordinate with my other doctors and specialists,  and has been a great advocate and inspiration to me towards self-empowerment.  She’s moving to the East Coast! I have one more appointment with her. Tears were shed on the drive home. (Which due to high blood pressure and low O2 sats throughout the day, made hospitalization seem like more of a possibility than driving home and sleeping in my own bed.  BUT…the high number went down and the low number came up, so…there ya go! I’ll tell you later how much I despise hospital stays.)

Rush hour traffic then ahhhh! Home! To the loving arms of the Hubbs! Home to tostadas and cold beverages! Home to the stare down at dinner by the fuzzmonster dog. Sigh…life IS good!


2 thoughts on “Marathon Doc Visits…Why Do I Do That to Myself?!

  1. boy can I relate!!! you are proving to be quite a funny writer. I can sense your self-editing starting to slip away, and when it’s gone for good, you will burst out with your best stuff yet. I’m so glad you did NOT end up in the hospital. . .


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